after all i tried to do, stay away from loving you. i'm broken hearted, i can't let you know, and i won't let it show,you won't see me cry..



woke up early in the morning and made AI XIN ZAO CAN for my shengsheng husband.
LOL..watched movie with CLIQUE 4 & MSG.. wasnt a good day today.
still..thanks Nash bro for talking to me and cheering me up all the way and a few others too.
totally upset and depressed now, idk how should i think or what should i do.
i just dont know how to deal with it or show it, i know it isn't right at all.
if i had a choice, i would do anything to forget about him than to have feelings for him.
im just trying my utmost best to not have feelings for anyone already.

♥ 5:23 AM

I'm looking out in the crowd,don't know where you are
It's like I'm hearing you now ,but you feel so far
I don't know what I can do ,I'm searching everywhere
Thats why I lay here at night and dream you to life
I'll be okay, I'll be alright,I know Ill find you boy,
When the time is right, I cant deny it, I cant deny that ...


finally first week of bridging programme ended. 1 more week to go.
feelings with uncertainty, it'll go away soon i guess..? hmmm..

♥ 4:05 AM

you took a hammer to these walls, drag the memories down the hall..packed your bags and walked away, there was nothing i could say..



went to slack at Apple's house today with Da Jie Joanna, gillian,
zhao didi and xiang and sheng, & i got 2 husbands. LOL. totally epic.
Da Jie married them off to me. lmao. helped with Tiramisu and Guitar Hero-ed.
Jolene & i watched cartoons then Apple mummy & Gillian fell asleep. :X

song dedicated to Gillian
Save You - Simple Plan. ):

anw. scanned through all my songs just now.
heard Over You, bring back lots of memories since p6.
ahdamn. it was still him who broke me the most. -.-

♥ 3:19 AM

But your eyes are dangerous
So the thought keeps spinning in my head
Can we drop this masquerade
I can't predict where it ends
If you're the rock I'll crush against

i'll never bang my head against an unopened door :D
teehees. ANW.. D: fed-up, angry, upset, fustrated !

HOW could you do this to her?!
HOW could you not see her feelings for you?!
WHY did you not stay faithful to her?!

WHAT the fcxk is wrong with you ___s ?! -.-
it it that fcxking hard to make YOU think about her pain?
that's the fcxking reason WHY we don't open our doors* to you ___s. -.-
to think i supported you -.-

♥ 4:08 AM

just gonna randomly post, its been so long alr (:

29th October

Happy Sweet Sixteen Birthday Marcus ! :D


marcusleezhiyuannnnnnnnnnnyuannnnnyuannnnnnnnn ;x

yeaps. we celebrated Marcus's birthday by having a picnic on a shopping mall's rooftop.
amazing right? :D first time in my life. LOL. epic.
finally like after so long, CLIQUE 4 & MSG are out together again ! :D


picnic-ing and playing poker :D


some of the snacksxzxz :D


zhaoqi,nash,marcus,edison - THE CLIQUE 4 :D

ohya. guess what. we're the black&white on that day. super qiao. ;x
got many unglam shotxz taken . -__- what to do?! i was busy makan-ing.


&

both mel and gillian were like that -__-

nash spilled the rootbeer, AND LOL. i cleaned up ): with rootbeer on my fbt shorts.
and many more funny stuffs happened. -END-


31st October

nua-ed half the day at home then went to bedok (budok,LOL) to slack.
benny,zhao,sheng,xiang,selina,joanna was there at the kfc.
slacked talk and blah blah blah. then dionne came. hmmmmmm.
selina & i was pretty stunned though, ohwell. she's happy.
then we took bus 38 back to simei, and we kept pushing selina and xiang together.
ended up selina sat beside me and i sat beside benny. LOL.
we kept fighting fighting fighting, then end. he and his stupid muscles. -__-
benny went off first while the rest of us headed to simei green.
selina cooked korean noodle for me and then we headed down to the poolside.
we sat under the umbrella and laughed and joked, then we saw dark clouds coming -.-
sheng sang more. more came. then we saw the last white cloud. we asked xiang to sing.
LOL. end up.....hopeless ): it still rained. we sat under the umbrella TT
we slacked there for a hour or more before everyone went off.
parents came to fetch me and we talked about my studies.
i was considering about retaining and after quite a long time, parents & bro,
all encouraged to me promote. idk if i can do it. my mum said the most retake O's -.-
ahhhhhhhh.....................................shag. -__- 4e3 next year, here i come.


1st November, TODAY

not going out today. staying at home to play sushido and slack. -.-
sianxzxzxz

♥ 10:05 PM

its so hard to forget him when i can't stop thinking of him.



said it on last sat, its bad, real bad, nothing's gonna happen.
no love for me, till i ................................................ ;\

♥ 4:47 AM

major heartbreak season

end-less heartbreaks, it is that difficult to get you to notice me.
you'll never know how much courage i had to summon to talk to you.
it is that difficult to get myself to ask you to go out, cause you wouldnt.
but still..i'll try..i'll keep trying..i will..for you..
tears do still fall no matter how hard i hold back..

♥ 5:52 AM